...I was not meant to work. I am a strong believer that I was born to be a parasite to my family for pretty much all of my life. Okay being serious. Now I have to start thinking 'stay here?' or 'go back?' Its like. I only get one more year to be a kid. Sad shit.
A couple of people have passed away recently. Back home I mean. And they were old. Like. Late 90's. In school my teacher told us crazy stuff/family dramas always come up at the end of each semester for her. This semester she found out her family member got cancer. He's 30 odd. And then the next day, her boyfriend's friend or someone found out he got cancer too. He's 21. Like AHH. That's even worse! And then a friend passed away in her sleep. Brain aneurysm. She just got engaged and was planning for her wedding w/ her boyfriend. And now her boyfriend has to plan her funeral. 20 something too.
Its really shitty to die so old and unglamorously when all your faculties fail you. And then its really tragic if you die so young. Somehow the latter seems more romantic. If you know what I mean. ...But really neither is good.
I dunno.Maybe it'd be better if god just lets us disappear once we reached the best that we could've and if the only way we were gonna go after that is down. ...clearly I haven't thought this through.
Everyone's leaving to go off their own way. Oh man. I have so many questions. I know the relationships I have now are changing and they'll continue to change. Will it be better? Worse? What if all of us drift apart despite the heartfelt promises that we won't. What then? What if I change? What if you do? What if you're no longer the person I once knew? For better or worse? Man. It feels strange. Like you're being left behind.
You know when you always talk of the future and how it will be x amount of years from now. It always comes too soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment